Whatever You're doing...

I realize it has been two months since my last post.  And I apologize for the silence.  The past couple of months have been full of a few ups, some downs and well, acceptance that things will not be happening as originally planned.  For those readers who were left with the last post and have not had the chance to be updated on changes with Russian adoptions over the past months, I will quickly recap and give you a brief two month update.

From the last post...everyone in process was waiting for the Russian Supreme Court to make their ruling on how to put Putin's ban into effect.  They gave that ruling and it was that families who had been to court were allowed to bring their children home.  It was amazing to see a number of families travel after the first of the year and come back to US with their new additions. (Though that process was made very difficult for them!)  For those of us who had not been to court yet, technically it meant our process was over.  Let me just interject here that the human side of me had a mini melt down when this occurred, another adoptive parent called it an 'emotional disaster' and I think that's a perfect description but then I was reminded that God is really the one in control.  This seems funny to write, but just because Russia says 'no' doesn't mean people are obeying that.  I know, how can you just ignore that, you might ask?

Let me try to share a quick explanation as to why no is not be accepted as the final answer....    
There has been some talk of trying to 'change the rules' for families in the various stages of the adoption process.  There are also families who have filed a suit with the European Court of Human Rights.  Families are fighting back and fighting hard!  Our government is finally starting to put forth a wee bit of effort AND God is still in control!!!  As most things in government it will be a long process, and it is a process that is still pretty unclear.  No one really knows what things will look like in 3 months or 6 months or a year or...??  So, even though right now the answer from R is no, the answer from God is....'remember that this is HIS plan that we're all following'.     

And that's the past two months in a nutshell...

If you haven't figured out, I like to turn to music that seems to say just the right things.... I have a playlist of all of my favorite 'adoption songs' or songs that have meant something over the past year.  Some seem to always be relevant (While I'm Waiting by John Waller for example!)  But the current theme song is....

 

 Whatever You're Doing by Sanctus Real

It's a song that has been around for awhile and that I've liked for awhile, but sitting back and really listening to the words, it just makes perfect sense, now.

These lines...."And all I can do is surrender....Whatever you're doing, inside of me.  It feels like chaos, but somehow there's peace. It's hard to surrender to what I can't see, but I'm giving in to something Heavenly"

I tweak it a little in my head...though I know He is working 'inside of me'.  I feel like it's even bigger than that and I think more along the lines of 'Whatever you're doing.' and that's just it...'whatever you're doing....It feels like chaos but somehow there's peace.'   

I can't see what God's long term plan is, but I can surrender and follow where He leads.   'Whatever He's doing' is so much bigger than me (or Putin or Russia or the US) and I just have to remind myself of that on a daily basis.

I will always consider L mine and she WILL be home someday, it just may be awhile.  All in God's timing.  But, like my other theme song says...

'I will serve You, while I'm waiting.  

I'll be running the race, even while I wait'.   

What does that mean exactly?  

Hmm, good question.